Ugh

Is it really possible that the Gators are this awful?  Aside from my feelings about the Offensive Coach Who Shall Not Be Named, I'm just completely uninspired by the boys lately.  They are a Hot Mess.

First, there was Bama.  Oh, Bama.  At Bama.  I can't say I expected to win (but I did hope it might happen!)...but I didn't expect to lose that badly.  Just awful.  And to make it worse, we watched with a couple of Bama fans.  Loud ones.  Just to pile it on, my mom decided that part of being a good hostess was cheering for the team your guests like.  (Really?  Sounds like a good way to get evicted from your own house, if you ask me.  Good thing she didn't ask me.)  But a loss to last year's National Champs is one of those things you have to just take on the chin and move on. 

So on we moved...but not to Gainesville.  Instead, we headed to North Georgia (yes, the opposite direction from Gainesville, in case you're checking your compass).  As you might guess, we weren't thrilled about this location issue.  Hot Mess or not, they're still the boys from old Florida - they're OUR boys, and we're going to see them in person as much as possible. 

So we were still stewing about not seeing the Gators live for the LSU game (ahem, whogetsmarriedintheFallintheSouth? - oh, sorry - just a little something caught in my throat)...but doing our best to invoke all of the good luck charms we could to counteract our absence.  (Clearly, us not being there is bad luck, right?)  We started with the traditional game-time drink (the JBTea), followed by game day underoos, lucky shirts (we switched out for the backups when the originals didn't seem to be working), and finally, outdoor peeing.  And not just the General.  Desperate times, folks.  What did we get for our troubles?  Nothing but the gut-twisting agony of losing to an SEC opponent.  Ugh.

And then there was Mississippi State.  Woof.  I was hoping that our presence in the Swamp might help the boys.  Evidently, I was wrong.  Way wrong. 

Thank God we've got a bye week!

Dye-ing for the next home game

Noon in Gainesville this time of year is insane.  Nearly unconscionable to be outside, unless you're at least half-submerged in a pool or lake.  And yet, someone in Gainesville apparently thinks it's the perfect time for a football game (?).  Last weekend was H. O. T.  This weekend will no doubt be more of the same.

So, what's a girl to wear when it's 100 degrees in the shade?  Tried out the shorts/t-shirt combo last weekend, but that was NOT the way to go.  As far as I'm concerned, the ideal game day outfit touches no more of your skin than is absolutely necessary, and is also super-cute.  Bonus points if the entire outfit is in team colors (i.e., no denim, khaki, white or other neutrals).  The shorts/t-shirt combo was cute enough, but there was way too much contact with my skin.  Ugh.

Enter the swimsuit cover up.  I've been hanging out in my Billabong cover up all summer, and it's perfect on a hot steamy day.  The only problem is that the one I already have is teal.  Not exactly on the Gator faithful color wheel.  But hello, internet!  I found the same dress in white from some surf shop in California (on sale!), and figured I could make it work with some good orange & blue accessories.  White = cool, right?

When the dress arrived, it was adorable - but completely see-through.  Add a little Swamp steam, and it would only get worse.  In addition to the see-through problem, the General reminded me that I'm not the world's most coordinated person, and I'd be likely to spill/smear all manner of tailgate food & drink on my white dress.  Fair point, my friend. 

So, on Monday, E and I made a trip to the hobby store while the boys napped, and we found the perfect orange dye.  Came home, put E down for her nap, and Z jumped in to help me with my project.  (When was the last time you dyed something?  Easter eggs when you were 10?  Tie dye in high school?  I don't know when I last dyed something, but I'm pretty sure it's been at least 15 years.  Heavens!)  A few minutes later, we had one perfectly orange dress (also an orange sink, but that's a small sacrifice for team spirit, no?).  Layer a lightweight blue tank under the dress, and I'm all set.

Bring it on, Gainesville - I'm ready.  All day, baby.  All day.

Stand up if you don't like it!

Aside from the horrible offensive play on the field last Saturday, there was some other highly annoying action in the Swamp during the game.  It involved a cop, a fan who dared to stand, and (I think) some crotchety old folks.

We sit on the alumni side of the stadium, which is nice for several reasons, including the fact that you can occasionally sit down (absolutely not an option on the student side).  On the student side, you stand for the entire game, whether you like it or not.  On the alumni side, you stand when you want to (i.e., when the Gators are tearing it up, and you can't help but get out of your seat and cheer) or when you need to (i.e., when the folks in front of you are standing, and you can't see over them - or when you're so outraged by the officiating/coaching/play that you need to stand up and tell those goofballs how to do their jobs - you get the picture).  It's nice not to have to stand all the time, but we often end up standing for most of the game anyway.  It's fun.  We're there to see the Gators play, and we're going to watch it on tv the next day anyway - if our hootin' and hollerin' keeps us from seeing every detail, so be it.  We'll catch it from the couch tomorrow.

And frankly, we believe that the Gators need us.  That's right.  If we're not there, yelling and standing and chomping and cheering, those boys are going to be fighting an uphill battle.  If we're not there and - God forbid - they lose, it'll surely be our fault.

So we were horrified when the usually-friendly cop who hangs out at the entrance of our section came down the aisle and told a fan to sit down.  Nevermind the fact that the play was at the opposite end of the field and everyone in the section blocking our view of the play was standing.  Nevermind that Addazio clearly needed all the help he could get, and that fan was probably just giving him some helpful suggestions.  Forget all of that.  This guy was at a football game, enjoying and contributing to the atmosphere, and there is no rule against standing in the Swamp!  The fan told the cop why he was standing (I can't see if I sit down, man!) and the cop still insisted that he sit.  Then the cop backed up a few rows and bird-dogged the fan - waiting for him to do any little thing that might give him a reason to take action. 

The General was watching this go down, and he stood up in support of the fan and in dismay at the game (and maybe also because the fan's girlfriend was practically naked, and the General wanted to preserve his view of her??), and yelled "That's right!  Stand up if you don't like it!"  I agree, General - at least about supporting the fan and being annoyed with the game.  But don't get thrown in the Swamp slammer - I'm not leaving my seat to come bail you out...unless you've got my bourbon in your pockets.

I did have to leave my seat, though, so I missed whatever happened to get the fan thrown out of his seat.  But from what I hear, the fan was ejected because he was annoying the old folks sitting behind him (no, the OG wasn't there!), and they goaded the cop into taking action.  Oh, the unjustice!  I was livid for the rest of the game.  Since I am a fixer, I decided to text the stadium security folks and tell them about it.  Not sure that accomplished anything (other than to put me on some sort of stadium-cop watch list), but it made me feel better. 

Moral of the story: Stand up if you don't like it (and even if you do like it) - but hand off the liquor before you do it.  You're about to get thrown in the slammer.